that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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