You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
