Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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