That's when you crack a 10am beer
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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