This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
