i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's just like the Real World with babies
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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