Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
