just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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