I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
