I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
These tits shall not be calmed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
