Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
