I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize