I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
