I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
