did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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