This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
