lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
