it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
