forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
