Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
