why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
