They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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