Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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