how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
