if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
