Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
