walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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