its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
