Your face is a jimmy john
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
