I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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