i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
