And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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