At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My breasts were aching with rage.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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