do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
