But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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