After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
