? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
