I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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