I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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