I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
