It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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