Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
