so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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