imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
