Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
third nipple confirmed
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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