We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
