I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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