if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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