Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
