I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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