Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize