I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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