please come you make the beer taste better
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
