He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
