you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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