He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
