We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
