i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
