I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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