C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
