I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
