i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize